http://www.brookston.org/j A Fictional Memoir of Growing Up With Beer Fri, 11 Dec 2009 04:33:29 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en UNDER THE TABLE A Fictional Memoir of Growing Up With Beer   by Jay R. Brooks     Drink to the girls and drink to their mothers, Drink to the fathers and to their brothers; Toast their dear healths as long as you’re able, And dream of their charms while under the table. — Anonymous Toast http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=34 “There are two reasons for drinking: one is when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.”      — Thomas Love Peacock           Melincourt, 1817 Whenever I see a bright golden pilsner standing tall in the glass, it hearkens me back to my very first memory of beer, of being aware ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=10 “You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline — it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”      — Frank Zappa Thanksgiving was a big deal in our family. It was one of ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=11 “A man can hide all things, excepting twain — That he is drunk, and that he is in love.”      — Antiphanes, 408-344 BCE Eventually, of course, television did overtake all of us and I began a lifelong affair with cartoons that continues to this day. Saturday morning was nirvana for the cartoon buff. ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=12 “The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings.”      — Arthur Lewis Eddie’s mother, my step-grandmother Helen was a real piece of work in every sense of that term. She probably had as much to do with her son’s drinking as everyone else ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=13 “An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks just as much as you do.”      — Dylan Thomas My grandmother, like my own mother, had divorced early and remarried. But her second marriage had likewise fizzled and was over long before I was born. Wilbur was in a sense my step-grandfather, I suppose, ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=14 “I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.”      — William Shakespeare           Falstaff, in Henry IV, I, i, 1598 As the frequency of Eddie’s drinking began to increase, so did the pattern of our lives. One consequence is that we began to eat out several times each ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=15 “The man who called it “near beer” was a bad judge of distance.”      — Philander Johnson On those occasions when the Hulk did emerge in the guise of my stepfather, it was if a tornado had been unleashed inside our small house. These were the years that were met with increasing anxiety ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=16 “The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is that a drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings.”      — Arthur Lewis One night when I was around 12, I was up and watching movies with Eddie after my mother had gone to work. We’d watched one of our all-time favorites, an ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=17 “I wish you a Malty Christmas And a Hoppy New Year, A pocket full of money And a cellar full of Beer!”      — Anonymous Toast Christmas and the winter holidays were always a mixed bag. On the one hand, they were magical times for a child with presents, visits to store Santas, baking cookies and ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=18 “Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink, Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as I am in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us, and lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers, For thine is the ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=19 “But if at church they would give some ale And a pleasant fire our souls to regale. We’d sing and we’d pray all the livelong day, Nor ever once from the church to stray.”      — William Blake That fall, I started junior high, which was a slightly shorter walk from our house, but in a ... http://www.brookston.org/j/?p=20